I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
