Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
