i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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