No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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