HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
