There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
