you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
