I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
