it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
