girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
