Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I believe in your delicious
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
