I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize