A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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