I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
