Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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