im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
