He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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