after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
