good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
