Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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