I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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