there was a trapeze. enough said
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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