if only i could text you this smell
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
