who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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