I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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