Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The air was thick with penises
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
