I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
