I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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