I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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