Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
