Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
