HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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