Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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