Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
