Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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