I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
