Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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