But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
