its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I need moral support for this bender
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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