those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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