3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
