Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
