she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
