So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
