things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
