its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
