How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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