??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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