Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
