I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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