she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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