a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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