my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
