Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
